The Mozart Effect

Posted by on May 14, 2013 with 0 Comments

The Mozart Effect: Makes a child smarter and more mathematical along with a higher IQ

The Haydn Effect: Child is witty and quick on his feet, quite often bringing a grin to the faces of those around him. Despite this he exhibits remarkable humility.

The Bach Effect: Child memorizes Scripture and says his prayers every day; may overwhelm listeners with his speech.

The Handel Effect: Much like the Bach Effect; in addition, the child may exhibit dramatic behavior.

The Beethoven Effect: Child develops a superiority complex and is prone to violent tantrums; is a perfectionist.
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A Violist, the Substitute Conductor

Posted by on October 22, 2012 with 1 Comments

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A Violist, the Substitute Conductor

A conductor became very ill one evening just one hour before a concert and was unable to conduct. The orchestra suddenly had to find a substitute and the only person who was willing step in and conduct was the last chair violist. The violist conducted the concert and it was a great success. The conductor remained ill the following day and the violist conducted another concert that evening as well, getting a standing ovation. At the next rehearsal, the conductor had recovered, and the violist took his place at the back of the viola section.

A Violist, the Substitute Conductor

 As he sat down, his stand partner asked him ”So, where’ve you been for the last two nights?”

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Funny Music Definitions

Posted by on October 22, 2012 with 0 Comments

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Funny Music Definitions

Bassoon: a bedpost with a bad case of gas. 


Beat: what music students do to each other with their instruments.

Concert: a place where people go to cough and sneeze. 


Conductor: Someone who is able to follow many people at once.

Counterpoint: a favorite device of many Baroque composers, all of whom are dead, though no direct connection between these two facts has been established.


Cut time: when everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.

Drummer: someone who hangs around with musicians. 


Half step: two piccolos playing in unison. 


Male quartet: three men and a tenor.

Pitch: a tossing motion frequently used by band students to hand in music.


Trombone: A slide whistle with delusions of grandeur!

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C, Eb and G Walk Into a Bar…

Posted by on October 22, 2012 with 0 Comments

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C, Eb and G Walk Into a Bar…

C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, “sorry, but we don’t serve minors.” So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, “Excuse me. I’ll just be a second.” Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, “Get out! You’re the seventh minor I’ve found in this bar tonight.”

E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, “you’re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.” Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he’s under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.

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