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Funny Music Definitions

Bassoon: a bedpost with a bad case of gas. 


Beat: what music students do to each other with their instruments.

Concert: a place where people go to cough and sneeze. 


Conductor: Someone who is able to follow many people at once.

Counterpoint: a favorite device of many Baroque composers, all of whom are dead, though no direct connection between these two facts has been established.


Cut time: when everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.

Drummer: someone who hangs around with musicians. 


Half step: two piccolos playing in unison. 


Male quartet: three men and a tenor.

Pitch: a tossing motion frequently used by band students to hand in music.


Trombone: A slide whistle with delusions of grandeur!

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